I’ve found another layer of “mom-guilt:” the variety in which by doing good for an organization or institution that your kid is involved with you miss actual involvement with your kid(s). Last night, Stella’s school had a STEAM night. STEAM is all the rage in schools these days, and being a science-type I’m all about that. Therefore, when the emails commenced soliciting volunteers for the event, my virtual hand shot up.
I was in charge of the “Butterfly Garden Photo Booth,” which was fun and cute. The sad part is that I never even got to see what else was there. The event was packed; a free dress coupon was the prize for visiting all required stations and getting stickers for participation. Will’s parents brought my kids and took them around. Felix was in hog heaven. I think he got even more out of it than Stella did. Apparently there was some kind of station where they hooked electrodes up to your arm and when you flexed it made “music.” He loved that, and woke up this morning still flexing his “musical muscles.” There was also some kind of moving cockroach leg activity that he was enamored by. Both kiddos liked the Lego activities.
Looking at the pictures that Oui Oui and Stella’s teacher sent me, I felt kind of sad that I wasn’t there to see it. I felt great about volunteering, but would have loved to experience that stuff with my kids. It’s another example of not being able to do it all. I feel confident that this will be an ever-growing theme.
In other news, holy crap it’s Friday. How can it be Friday already??? I mean, sure. It’s been a busy week (speaking of ever-growing theme). There were doctor’s appointments on Monday. I had my 2nd ever mammogram. Nope, still hate it. I also finally got to ask my GYN the question that had been haunting me for 4 years: If a woman is having a c-section and the doctor is pulling the uterus out anyway, and that same woman has requested her tubes be tied (i.e. she is not having any more children ever), why would you put the damn thing back in???? The answer was pretty obvious once I heard it: the blood vessels are too enlarged after carrying a full-term baby, so that for vascular reasons alone it would be too dangerous. Ok. I buy that. Best of all, I didn’t act like a freak this time. Last year I got all weepy seeing all the pregnant ladies and had one of those “I’ll never have that experience again” moments. All of that probably justified my request for Wellbutrin.
Work gets crazier and crazier somehow, absorbing way more of my brain-space than usual. What a drag. Despite feeling over-scheduled, I’m still trying to make time for stuff other than work and children: meeting new friends for coffee or lunch, reading, getting out and walking. I often look at my calendar and think “in 2 weeks things will calm down – I have nothing scheduled” but then my calendar fills up again. It’s stressful but kind of invigorating. I guess it’s good that I feel that way, since I don’t see any of that changing.
Have a good weekend, y’all, and happy Mardi Gras if you’re into that kind of thing.