He’ll Give You the Squirt Off His Back

Busy. So busy that time passes so quickly and each moment is crammed with so much stuff that it seems surreal.  

Surreal.  It’s a Sunday afternoon in March and I’m watching my kids play in the sprinkler, each eating their 5th Popsicle.  Earlier today we went and saw the Wienermobile and got photobombed by a firetruck.

I’ve got tons of blog snippets jotted down, but I haven’t had a chance to work with them. Maybe this week?

Will and I made the kids give us the TV for 40 minutes so we could watch  episode 2 of Iron Fist on Netflix.  Now Felix is running around pounding everything.  Dammit.  Parenting fail.  We actually got a date night  last night and caught Logan.  We’ve had that odd “now what” in our heads after seeing something impactful and thought old Iron Fist could fill it. Hence the poor decision- making process.

Speaking of Will, I have to give him a shout out.  Y’all know I’ve bitched about our neighbors’obnoxious yapping   Chihuahuas, right?  Once upon a time it was just the Desperate Housewife next door (so named for her extremely slender frames, upright bosom, and anxious nature reminiscent of Terri Hatcher).  She got 2.  Then she married this big brute we call the Gorilla.  He had 1 plus some other big mutt.  The big mutt is fine – a delight.  The pack of rat dogs not so much.  They bark.  They bark so much.  At one point, she even laughingly apologized, saying it was accidental that they ended up with 4 dogs and to feel free to “squirt them with the hose” if they barked too much.  Well….

We really are live and let live kind of people.  But these dogs aren’t reciprocating.  We’ve tried an ultrasonic bird house.  It worked for a while.  Will threw firecrackers in their general direction a few times.  Our cop neighbor came to the house with his flak vest on.  We haven’t done that again.  So the hose is plan Z.

See, DH and the Gorilla have a dog door, so these furry nightmares can come and go at will.  Friday night was exceptionally bad.  They went so crazy that several times we stepped out back thinking that just maybe there was something legit going on.  Nope.  Not even a stupid possum.  This went on for hours.  I went to bed about 10:30 after several glasses of wine.  Will stayed up.  And had more wine.  And listened to more incessant barking.  He had enough.  At 12:30 he barged over, rang the doorbell, and pounded on their door.  No answer.  So he got the hose.  He let fly.

He says he stayed out there for 10 minutes, showering their back door every time he saw one of their snaggletoothed faces pop out.  Think aquatic whack a mole.  They didn’t bark at all yesterday.  We didn’t see them come out at all.  

No one wants to be that guy but I’d rather be that guy than those guys.  Next time I suppose we’ll just call the city cops and tell them about the horrible violation of the noise ordnance.  Or maybe 3 wet dogs too freaked out to do their business outside for a full 24 hours will have an impact.


About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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4 Responses to He’ll Give You the Squirt Off His Back

  1. Anxious Mom says:

    What a pain in the ass! After our neighbor’s chihuahua kept rushing us like she was gonna bite every time we stepped out, I briefly considered one of those remote controlled BB pellet tanks. And then we got a very protective dog and she stopped. I still want the tank just for fun.

  2. joey says:

    Great photos! Photobombed by fire truck! 🙂

    When I lived on base, we had so many neighbors with yapping dogs. The one behind me was a lil terrier mix, just barked all the livelong day, seemingly without reason, but probably because they left him out all gd day and he wanted to be with his people. I was SO glad when they moved. That family was frickin weird overall.
    Then there were people across the street with bassets and the eldest one howled all gd day and night, for the same reason. I never understood why those people kept adding dogs to their household. They got a toy terrier and it was almost never outside, whereas the bassets almost always were. I bout died when they took a third from the same line. Seriously, love the ones you have, people. Sad. Annoying. Ugh.
    I live across the street from another family with a basset now, and although I’ve heard her howl, it is not a constant thing. Perhaps because her people love her and she’s inside a lot.
    I feel for ya, I do.

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