Pricks of the Trade

It’s the official start of the summer doldrums around here, whereby if you can’t get out and about before 8:00 AM or you aren’t participating in some water-based activity you’re pretty much screwed.  I had a really fun Thursday and Friday, when our wee little 5 month old compressor on our bouncing baby central AC went out.  Yes, it was under warranty, but dammit.

Stella rocked her first week at zoo camp.  There were a few hiccups, but they were minor and few.  There was even a day when she didn’t get her meds and kept her shit together, which is gratifying.  She’s back at the zoo this week, so I’m thinking we’re in for smooth sailing.  She’s also starting martial arts this evening; I hear it’s good for ADHD brains, and that’s what she picked over piano.  My house may about to become violent.

The Dude is the Dude.  That kid is relatively unflappable.  He has developed the “I’m scared” crap at night, which is irritating and comes out of absolutely nowhere.  I also got him to sit through his first movie in the theater, Captain Underpants.  I don’t count the Secret Life of Pets last summer, when I spent all but the first 15 minutes chasing him around the lobby.  Best of all (to me) was that I bribed him with “science.”  I promised if he was a big boy and was still and quiet we’d get the microscope out when we got home.  Win!

Movie tomfoolery

Science = bribe. I heart this so much.

Something did happen that bothers me.  We went to a local shop to let the kids pick out a project to do.  We ran into one of Stella’s classmates and her mom.  The mom is great.  She’s one of those folks you see that you wish you could hang out with, just to get to know them better.  And you would, except for time and work and kids and…

Anyway.  Stella saw her classmate and ran up and gave this girl a huge hug.  I thought it was sweet.  The other girl did not.  She had a look on her face as if Stella had the world’s worst BO ever.  Stella didn’t notice, thankfully.   My heart hurt.

The mom gushed that we should all get together and the girls could play and all will be right with the world.  I wanted to ask her if she was aware that her kid would probably rather have a needle jammed into her eye than hang out with my daughter.  I didn’t.  I just awkwardly tried to take my girl and get the hell away.  I probably seemed either completely crazy or she thought I needed a restroom really badly.

Dammit, y’all.  On one hand, I’m glad Stella doesn’t notice that some – many? – kids don’t want to hang out with her.  She’s honestly happy to do her own thing for the most part.  But I know one day that will change.  And she’ll be hurt – badly.  On the other hand, she needs to know that her behavior causes kids to be uncomfortable around her, to avoid her.

That shit still bugs me 48 hours later.  And I think this will be something here to stay for a while.  I remember being bullied.  I can remember a kid named Joey Egersits leading a chant of “loser” on the playground for my benefit and enjoyment in 3rd grade.  I can remember a girl named Samantha threatening to beat me up in 7th grade.  I also know bullying has gotten so much worse since then. I had it easy.

I know the train is coming and it’s unavoidable.

Sorry.  Mondays are bad enough without people being maudlin.  So for your amusement, I shall show you what my children picked out at the same shop where the hugging went badly:

What could be cuddlier than a cactus?

Yep.  They each picked out a cactus pillow.  WTF?



About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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26 Responses to Pricks of the Trade

  1. Eli Pacheco says:

    We can do nothing about mean-ass kids and other pint-sized jerks. What we can do (and you definitely are) is continue to advocate for our kids. I always expressed gratitude for my girls just as they were – then prayed the world would at least see them as a portion of that.

    Know what happened? The world saw them as so much more. Not the entire world. There were still the shitlets who chose cruelty over kindness, but those were the ones easiest excluded from the girls’ lives. My girls would SO be friends with yours.

  2. My heart hurts for your daughter, too. I see that sometimes with my bighearted 4 year old too…oh how I wish we could protect them from the bullies and straight up mean people in this world… I remember similar stories to yours. I guess we just prepare them, with lots of love and understanding.
    I hope she finds her group soon… ❤️

    • larva225 says:

      Thank you! I do take comfort that she had an introvert streak and seems happy doing her own thing. I just so hope she knows there are other options, and that those other options embrace her – at least some of them!

  3. joey says:

    Ugh. There’s such a sting at an unwelcome hug. I feel for you.
    Yay for TKD!
    Cactus pillows? Nah, I’ll pass 🙂

  4. Erika says:

    Aww. Been there with Little Man and will be again, I’m sure. It definitely makes the heart ache. ❤

  5. Andrew says:

    Kids are cruel. They seem much more so these days than they did when I was a kid. I blame technology for that, access to all sorts of crap they normally wouldn’t see until much older. My daughter is similarly chastised for various reasons: doesn’t dress like a girl, plays with the boys instead of the girls, likes bugs/insects and is taller than most her age. I know some of that will change, but I’ve had the “other kids can be assholes” speech several times and after two years she’s finally starting to get it. She’s decided to NOT be around some of the girls in our neighborhood because they make fun of her and more importantly, make fun of the ones that DO hang out with my daughter and she’s protecting them as well. True friends are a rare commodity to those that don’t act or appear the way it’s perceived they should act or appear. This girl that she hugged isn’t worth your daughters time and eventually, she’ll get it and just stay away. I was a complete nerd growing up and endured years of bullying and rejection. My parents helped me through that with their support and encouragement and *I* figured it out on my own. There’s nothing in your writing that tells me that you’re any different than my parents were so many years ago 🙂 I’m sure she’ll turn out just fine after a few inevitable hard life lessons.

    • larva225 says:

      I know these bumps and bruises are inevitable, but dammit it sucks!! As always, thank you for your supportive words. They help a great deal, particularly since you are a few years further down the road with your daughter.

  6. Maybe the girl has space issues? It’s taken me a while to get use to all the hugging here. I still get a bewildered look on my face occasionally unless it’s someone I’m really comfortable with.

  7. She’ll be ok. I remember realizing I was just a little off (I still am) from everyone else, that was kindergarten. She’s amazing and brilliant and she has friends. It still sucks and I hate it for her (or any kid for that matter).

  8. Pingback: Sunday Share: Week 24 | All In A Dad's Work

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