It’s been a week, y’all. While keeping Stella out of camp was absolutely the right call, it’s been logistically challenging. To be fair, the girl has had a pretty terrific week: a trip to the water park, splash pads, bowling, cupcake decorating, and tea parties. But it’s all starting to feel so abnormal. She is like my retired father; she has no clue what day of the week it is. And that shit is catching. This morning I woke up and wasn’t sure if I should be panicking that I wasn’t already dressed for work.
It’s also so much Togetherness. And kid time. My glob, I would dearly love some solitude and adult time. I’m not sure what that even looks like at this point. It’s probably not watching porn while naked wrestling in alcohol-infused Jello. But maybe a conversation where I can get out a sentence without having to stop and tell a kid to stop shaking their ass or not to Wolverine-claw their sibling would be a good start. Or seeing a movie. Like F’ing Wonder Woman. No, I’m not bitter.
(As I type this, my son just raced past me in his underwear bellowing Jingle Bells. Xmas in July and all that, I guess.)
Did you know you could “accidentally” spit out water all over the living room (without excessive laughter involved)? Yeah. That’s a thing.
One of my more inventive ideas this week involved cleaning. I “let” Stella help me with big kid jobs. Like mopping and using Windex. Now lest you worry that I’m changing her name to CinderStella, she kind of sucks at these endeavors. Her Windex aim is awful. Lots of wooden things were hosed. And she refused to listen to my explanation on how to mop oneself out of a room, thereby avoiding foot prints. But no matter. Some grunge removal is better than none.
I’ve just locked myself in my room to try to post this. It sounds awful out there. Will is hollering about jackassery (Sorry in advance to my children’s new teachers for their fabulous new noun.). It’s only a matter of time before Felix picks the lock. He may have a promising career in grand theft ahead of him.
Shit. Will just screamed to someone not to stick “it in your ear.” Gotta go. Light a candle for me. Or something.