Do y’all remember that old movie, something about Bodysnatchers? As I recall, it’s basically the classic scenario where aliens descend and use mind control to take over people in an attempt to ultimately conquer the planet. I think those bodysnatchers are real. I know this because each and every day my children come home with their memory completely blank or erased. To be fair, a more realistic scenario may be that they both suffer from multiple personality disorder – I think they call it dissociative personality disorder nowadays – but I speak of the variety in which the personalities are not necessarily co-conscious of each other, rendering the afflicted with huge chunks of lost time.
I know this is a thing. I’ve seen the memes.
It drives me crazy. I have no idea what is happening at school. I know, I know. I need to get all Elsa and let it go. I suppose to some parents it’s enough not to get calls from the teacher or principal, or to get scathing notes sent home full of frowny faces or red ink applied with such irritation and force that the words are embossed into the paper. No, that’s never happened to me. Why do you ask?
Part of this is due to the fact that Stella had such an amazing and heroic teacher last year, and now the bar is set so high that it has left Earth’s atmosphere. No teacher will ever compare. I get that.
But this year, crickets. Cheeeeep, cheeeeeep.
Stella will answer direct inquiries if phrased correctly. It’s like a damn game of 20 questions. If you ask what ancillary classes she had, she’ll tell you, or if you ask if she played with anyone at recess she’ll name a kid or say she did her own thing. If you ask her something generic like “what did you do today” she’ll say she doesn’t know. If you ask her “well, weren’t you there?” she’ll look at you like you’re the crazy one.
Felix is another matter altogether. He won’t answer generic questions or specific questions. If I say “Hey Felix! Did you sing songs today?” he’ll say something like “This box is part of my special machine.” Or he’ll run away.
We finally had open house last night, and I got to speak to each of their teachers, albeit briefly. Stella is apparently doing well and not acting like a jerk-face. Felix talks. A whole lot. Oh, and he has a friend named Sawyer. So I guess that’s something. But I’ll tell y’all something: I wouldn’t say no to a couple of those tiny go-pro cameras, just to see what’s really happening.