I must admit I’ve had my head in the sand. I’ve been avoiding stuff. Stuff around the house. Stuff at work. This stuff. School stuff. That’s the root of it all, the school stuff. I’ve reached that point where it’s become this dull nagging nugget of panic, sadness, rage, and guilt that I’m not dealing with it.
This summer has been great – the best so far as a parent. I’ve said that already. It really hit me that it’s been like a break from dealing with ADHD. No struggles with homework and teasing, no stressing about if meds wear off and all hell breaks loose. I sent my kids to camp most weeks, the others they were with Oui Oui or myself. Sure, there was jackassery. They’re kids. Kids = jackassery. But only once all summer (and that was last week) was I approached by a camp person to tell me about an incident. Usually teachers on counselors say it like that. This camp person had a legit beef but managed to convey it respectfully and in a way that didn’t leave me with that sense of panic in my belly wondering “oh shit what if we get kicked out of this camp?”
I got to be a mom and my kids got to be kids. And that was it. And that was amazing. I’m absolutely gutted that it’s over.
We went to a huge fair in Mississippi this past weekend. My mom is in town to visit and we went up there to see family and stay a while. It was hot. It was crowded. I love the fair. I hate the fair. I love the idea of the fair more than the actual experience. But I’m glad we went. Stella and I spent most of Monday riding carnival rides. You wanna know something? As you get older, ladies, your boobs want to go to the sides on the Tilt-a-Whirl. It’s like upper-torso lady-spreading. I had never noticed that before.
On the way home from the fair yesterday, I realized it was time for me to just get on with shit. After unpacking, I girded my loins, grabbed both school supply lists, and went to WalMart.
Maybe this is a southern thing, but hands up who hates school supply shopping with a hatred normally reserved for murderous dictators? The sheer amount of shit you have to buy with the precise nit-picking detail is ridiculous. I left WalMart with blood boiling, $150 poorer, and still not with everything my kids need. Thank glob for Amazon, because I’m sorry, I’m not going to Office Depot just to buy 3 large Pink Pearl erasers when I could just as easily have sent up a 5 pack of medium Pink Pearl erasers. And there was not one orange plastic pocket folder with the brads to be had, so I found something sort of off-red and I’m labeling it “orangish” and it’s going to have to be good. School supply shopping used to be fun and magical. Now it’s an expensive blood-pressure-raising, bank account emptying nightmare. Lunchboxes and backpacks are the only fun parts left.
I still have details to work out. I don’t know who will watch the Dude while I do Girl Scouts. My amazing friend offered to pick Stella up and then meet me right after so that I don’t have to worry about 2 afternoon carpools (and can I tell you I almost cried that someone offered to help?). I can’t get anyone at Felix’s new school to talk to me about teacher selection for him, and apparently their brand new guidance counselor hasn’t even started yet so there’s no way a 504 plan will be in place before school starts. I had asked to meet with Stella’s teachers before the beginning of the year, and I’ve heard nothing. I have a job and 2 kids (now at 2 different schools) and I can’t do this last-minute bullshit. I just hate this, y’all. I want to cry and pummel someone at the same time.
If any of y’all wins the big jackpot and wants to sponsor my kids in private school, PM me, yes? School starts next week, so there’s still some time….