Week in the Knees

Sorry. Time has just gotten away from me. We’ve been dealing with the whole getting back into a routine thing. We are officially in our third week -second full week – of the new school year. It’s been a mixed bag. I’ve experienced extreme frustration trying to get 504 plans up and running for both kids – especially Felix. We’re running the gauntlet of two carpools and if it weren’t for my friend helping us in the afternoon, I can say most emphatically that we’d be screwed.

Stella seems to be doing great, although they spent the first week or so doing diagnostic testing to see, in part, how they’ll do during the real testing later. I’m eye-rolling here. Testing, testing, testing. All during the first week of school.

All that testing has meant that Felix has had way more homework for kindergarten than his sister has had for third grade. What’s more, he’s already had more homework so far this year than Stella did her entire kindergarten year. And she’s in a magnet school. WTF? Despite that, he has actually had a much smoother beginning of his kindergarten year that she did. As a matter of fact, until today all was well. All greens on his behavior chart. Today he got purple and lost his whopping 15 minutes of recess. Yes, he normally gets 15 – that’s a one and a five – minutes of recess during his entire school day.

Can you imagine? Sweet kiddos only given 15 minutes to be kids. Heartbreaking.

I’m not even gonna talk about that, although it makes me so angry and incredulous I feel as if my eyes are bleeding and my blood pressure rises to 235/890. I’m pissed that they took those precious few minutes away due to typical ADHD behavior. He got dinged for not paying attention, not listening to instructions the first time, and talking.

Y’all, I have definite notions for what I want in his 504 plan. One of those ideas is to NOT punish him with recess removal for behavior associated with ADHD that is beyond his control. I will happily work with the school to find other consequences. Now, if he acts like an asshole and pushes a kid or starts dropping the F Bomb, that’s different. But then again, I have to actually get that 504 plan. I suppose I should be patient. I’ve only been asking for it since June.

Ibuprofen: Currently a major food group

I’ve joined many of those Facebook support pages for ADHD, parenting ADHD, etc. They can bring comfort. They can bring crazy in that obsessive way. What if I miss a post that’s useful, or a post by a person who just needs to know they’re not alone, or a post by someone needing to know the answer to a question that I can actually answer? I also hear stuff that breaks my heart and makes me go to the store and buy a fancy card and some stickers and write a long note after folding paper cranes to stick inside before mailing it all to a poor kid in California whose mother posted tearfully that he was about to turn 10 but had no friends and no one in his class was coming to his party and would anyone be interested in mailing him a birthday card? And yes, there’s a special page for this exact type of thing, to help make birthdays special for kids who really need it. THAT’S a damn rabbit hole. Tip: go buy some Hallmark stock, yeah?

Sorry. Off tangent. Anyway, on these pages I see stories like mine. Stories of kids being punished for being who and what they are – for things that are absolutely beyond their control and for conditions that aren’t necessarily horrible things. All that comes flooding back to me on days like today, when my son comes home with a purple and lost his recess.

And on these same pages mentioned above, there will be trolls – the trolls who say ADHD isn’t real, that it’s bad parenting, and how being in classrooms with our kids has a negative impact on their own little darlings. To these troglodytes, I want to say that taking recess away from a 5 year old ADHD kid for not paying attention is the same thing as saying to a TB patient, “Don’t mind all that smog, go run that 10 K.” Or to the person with IBS, “Just hold it.” Or to the mute person, “Speak up! I can’t hear you.” Or to the person who goes into anaphylactic shock after a bee sting “Go on and harvest that honey. You have an epi-pen, right?” You get my drift.

Sorry, y’all. I know I’ve been very one-note lately. One day I’ll go back to being an amusing smart-ass. I hope.

About larva225

Working mom. Is there any other kind? Geologist. Nerd.
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5 Responses to Week in the Knees

  1. joey says:

    I found a great deal of solace in various message boards on many topics of struggle. For however long we need a tribe, it’s nice to know there is one.
    IB will jack up your tummy. Drink your milk or whatever, Honey.

  2. Anxious Mom says:

    Have you looked into the state laws there to see if it’s legal for them to take recess time? My son’s teacher last year made the comment that it was illegal to take recess time away for misbehavior. But legal or not, that is such bullshit. Logic should tell them that letting out some of that excess energy could only be beneficial for the rest of the day.

    It’s weird, LM had more homework in kindergarten than any other year, too. So much time was spent doing the most mundane things. Coloring sheet after coloring sheet, sheets to practice cutting, counting (and all the items had to be colored), gah. I used to just help him do it to get it over with, no sense in spending an hour and a half “practicing” skills already mastered.

    Despite the issues with LM’s school, I guess we’re lucky, as the principal called today to schedule the 504 meeting for Monday, and this is the first week of school. Thankful for that at least.

    • larva225 says:

      Good luck to y’all!! Hopefully things settle down quickly for all of us and we can get through this year without too many death threats or knocks to our livers.

  3. Schools really need to be educated better on ADHD. I remember as a kid, I used to love school, until my desire to learn was slowly sucked away by a system that seems to make it nearly impossible for people with ADHD. We’re not considered “disabled enough” to get some kind of help or accommodation that those in the Special Education program would get, and there’s no in-between. ADHD kids are expected to act exactly like neurotypical kids. And for awhile, they can, which makes it even harder to get understanding. Many teachers and other authority figures have a mentality of “You did it once; you can do it all the time,” but don’t realize the inevitable burnout that will occur from spending too long trying to act “normal”.

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