I’ll be honest, I’ve been feeling a bit down about my kids lately. I know it’s summer and I’m supposed to be taking it easy, but it still hasn’t been easy.
I’ll start with Stella, as that one seems a bit more cut and dry. She’s just been an ass lately. She’s been disagreeable, arguing with everything and whining an awful lot. She spends most of her time glued to her tablet watching crap on YouTube. It’s like an addiction. And yes, it’s largely on me to regulate how much time she spends on it, and I do. Most of the time. Some days, though, there’s just too much else going on and I need easy. I feel like I’m constantly bitching at her about something.
I’ve been picking my battles with her. Some things I insist on, such as jiu jitsu. Other things, I’m letting go. She’s decided she doesn’t want to do summer reading – something we’ve done every year and something that comes easy to her. After 2 weeks of fighting, I’ve let it go, although there has been a recent development that might change that: Felix has won a gift card to a toy store for doing his reading. She’s going to be pissed.
My beautiful girl (photo credit Oui Oui)
Felix, as usual, is sweet and happy. And he’s learning the art of trash-talking. Just when I think he doesn’t pay attention to anything outside of his own head, he proves me wrong. He picked up on the fact that Stella isn’t doing her summer reading, so at least once each day he asks me very loudly if he’s doing good at his reading, and reminds me that he’s read more than Stella. This has also spilled out in the car after every jiu jitsu lesson, asking who did better. Maybe the competition will get Stella moving. Or maybe she’ll be pissed about his gift card and pick up a book.
As sweet and interesting as I think my son is, I’m realizing that not everyone feels that way about him, and that hurts my heart so much. Sure, he will talk to a turnip until it begs for mercy, but I think he’s one of the most interesting kids I’ve ever met. I love spending time with him. My favorite part of this past weekend? Taking him for a haircut and going to the library after. His Amazon wish list is full of science stuff – books and all manner of plant kits. He’s currently begging me for Coast Redwood and Sequoia grow kits. He’s still watching his mailbox for Bill Nye’s reply to his letter. (Please Mr. Nye, write him back!) But I’m starting to watch other kids when he’s trying to share his excitement about his passions. The other kids aren’t usually into it. And I get it: he would rather talk about botany than monster trucks. But then I’ll hear kids call him “annoying” or “weird.”
That sucks. It sucks as much as seeing the looks when I’m with Stella and she’s having a hard time. I just wish I could scoop them up and keep them safe so that they can’t see or hear that.
Dammit. Just dammit.
My kids will be with Oui Oui through Friday, so for the second time ever, I’ll not see my children for more than 24 hours. I’m hoping this will reset everyone. I hope to be a kinder, more patient mom/MyMom when they come home. I hope my energy and creativity return, so I can keep up with the Dude’s quest for scientific knowledge and find ways to connect with and inspire Stella.
In the meantime, there is gin and tonic. Cheers. Have a swell week.