I’ve been wanting to write. Truly. But what in the world can I say?
2020 has been beyond surreal. It’s already/only July. I’ve got nothing major to report, which I suppose is a very good thing. If I did have something major to report, it would likely not be good. Everyone in my little corner of the world is alive, physically healthy, and bored to tears. It’s hard to even talk to people anymore. I think all of our worlds have gotten so much smaller these past few month of isolating. I have a handful of folks I talk to most days, and while I/we crave the contact, we rarely have anything to discuss. I go to the office once a week and to the store or Costco once a week. That’s it. I try to get the kids out for walks early in the morning when I can (and before it reaches triple digits), but otherwise, we’re shut-ins.
I suppose we did have some landmark moments this week. I finally finished some intensive therapy I was doing with Felix. There were 40 one hour sessions, and this pandemic was the best/worst time to do it. It was best, as this was the only time I’d have the time and energy to actually work with him like that. It was the worst, as he’s lacking a lot of the structure that might actually provide clues as to whether or not it worked/is working. As it stands now, I’m pretty down about it, as I think I just sunk a lot of time and money (out of pocket) on something that might not have done any good. On the positive side, Stella FINALLY got her braces yesterday. She’s handling it like a champ so far.
This is one of those times when I need to rally, but that’s getting harder and harder. At the beginning, I had a whole list in my head of things to do, make, explore. My list has been all crossed off now, and I can’t seem to channel any creativity to make a new one. We have our pop-up pool in the back, but that’s already wearing a little thin; unless it’s raining, they’re in it every single day. They can’t seem to agree on any games to play, so unless I’m in there with them to referee, they fight and immediately run back in the house dripping wet. We finally set limits on their tablets, which was a great step. I’d rather them watch a movie together than stare at a tablet alone. Speaking of, any movies suggestions? That’s another list that I can’t seem to make. We’ve done all the new family releases via streaming, such as My Spy, Trolls, Artemis Fowl. I also made them watch Beetlejuice. We did Greatest Showman the other day. I just need ideas. Please, please give me ideas.
Felix has already read his 2 required summer reading books, and Stella has finished one and is halfway through the other. There was constant bitching, mind you, but it’s done. I need to start working with them on some other things – flash cards, writing prompts, etc. They’ve launched some kind of summer distance learning program here, but I. Just. Can’t. I cannot deal with Zoom/Teams meetings in July – not after 2 months of distance learning, and likely with some distance learning coming up in the fall. With the way our cases here are spiking, it seems highly unlikely my kids will be going back 5 days a week – at least not at first.
One thing that hasn’t been suffering is my Doomsday Garden. I’ve been blanching and freezing tomatoes, and have an insane amount of lemon cucumbers. My new fascination? Making pickles. Rachel Ray has a fantastic quick pickle recipe, and we’ve eaten bowls of them already. Who knew? And I suppose eating pickles is better than the other crap we’ve all been eating, amiright?
I don’t know, y’all. Some days I really feel like I’ve got it all under control – that my kids won’t really remember what they’ve missed, only the time spent snuggled at home or out at the parks feeding geese. But sometimes, we are all just sad. Stella is able to articulate it. Felix not so much, but I can tell he’s off as well. He, in particular, gets really anxious on the days I have to go to the office. When we’re out walking, both of them insist on having physical contact with me. It’s sweet, but I also think it shows that they’re aware that things aren’t right. We talk about the COVID. We’ve had some good talks about the protests and why they’re happening. They need to know this stuff, but I also want them to know the world can still be a beautiful place. Some days you just have to look a bit harder to find it.