This is obviously ADHD season for me, although to be fair, I suppose it always is. If you read my last post, you know we’ve been dealing with med changes with the Dude. I’ve also been skirmishing with his teachers, or more specifically, the Evil Villain.
To be fair, I honestly believe that the pre-K crew probably does not have much experience with ADHD and meds and the side-effects of said meds. Usually kids aren’t diagnosed this early or medicated this soon. But I guess maybe my expectations are too high when I think that people – no matter which people – should have a vague notion of what ADHD is, and have at least heard that they sometimes take meds that would be uppers for “normal” folks but have the opposite effects on those with ADHD. Am I wrong?
With the new meds, which we started a week ago Saturday, the Dude quit eating lunch. That’s kinda normal. With his previous stuff, he would eat lunch, which probably should have been a clue that maybe they weren’t working so well or weren’t strong enough. So I did for him what I do for Stella: I loaded his lunch box up with some good old crappy junk food – the kind that even the most non-hungry kid might actually consume. I would rather my kids eat candy or a cupcake than nothing at all for 8 hours.
My first red flag in a week of many was Felix bitching me out because I hadn’t put the Swedish Fish in his lunch box. Excuse me? I put the damn things in there myself. I remember distinctly. We tried again the next day. Same result. Motherfucker. Someone (Evil Villain??) was removing them. No. This will not do. The second red flag (and the third) came as a result of notes complaining of excessive talking, particularly during lunch. Well yeah. He’s not f’ing hungry. He’s not going to eat. Therefore, he’s going to talk. He loves to talk.
I feel I should interject here that I sent a nice note on that first Monday, explaining that he was on new stuff, and to please help me monitor any behavior changes, and that he would likely not want to eat. I did. I’m a good communicator like that. I use my words. I use lots of words. And y’all know I’ve been fighting the lunchbox fight with the Evil Villain all damn year. If it weren’t for fear that my kid might get hurt, I’d be packing a nice rat trap for lunch one day.
When I picked my kids up last Wednesday, the Evil Villain got right in my face, using her mournful (fake) voice to tell me that Felix had gotten purple on his chart yesterday (purple is not good, BTW) for talking SO much during breakfast and lunch. He was just visiting and visiting. I looked at her, chanting to myself not to stomp on her toes in the carpool line, and asked if he was eating. She said “not much.” I replied that I figured, that this was expected. That he was on SPEED. She said “That’s what that stuff is?”
I wanted to scream. I did not. I need some kind of medal or trophy for that. I looked at her and said that since he would not be interested in food, they might have to be creative in finding diversions for him during lunch.
I got my kids home without seriously injuring anyone, and set to work quickly trying to get everything set so that Will and I could go out to a concert. I was damn near crying, yelling at the kids to hurry and eat and do whatever homework before the sitter got there, simultaneously trying to write a sort-of diplomatic note to Felix’s teachers, A) reminding them that my kid is taking amphetamines, and B) not to ever touch a damn thing in his lunchbox even if they find it nutritionally repulsive, all the while trying to fix my face, drink coffee, and finish Felix’s birthday party invitations. And oh yeah, there was ANOTHER note from his teachers asking for a doctor’s note from when he had the flu that I turned in 2 weeks ago. I used a lot of capital letters when I responded.
I almost didn’t go to the concert, I was so tired and frustrated and just over the whole damn thing. I’m glad I went. I needed that.
We saw They Might Be Giants. Fantastic show!
I turned into a fangirl
Marty on the Drums is my new fav
This week has been a bit better, but not by much. Felix seems to be eating more at lunch (or they’re throwing stuff away), but he called his teacher a jerk (and yes, I know it could have been a much worse word and I’m grateful it wasn’t) and accused her of “ruining everything.” And that’s the teacher he likes. Stella is getting anxiety from these stupid math quizzes in which kids have to answer 20 addition or subtraction problems in 60 seconds. They get a half point off for every one they don’t get to. And despite my objection that this defies reason because as parents, particularly with an ADHD kid, we strive to help them slow down, take their time, and work carefully, they require it anyway. So now my kid complains that she “feels sick” several mornings each week. It’s nerves, I tell you. These damn “mad minute” quizzes are giving my kid anxiety.
Yeah, he called his teacher a jerk
In my head, this ADHD thing has been appearing as a dragon with multiple heads. A hydra, I guess. Just when I think I have one head pacified or otherwise sorted out, here comes another one. It’s just one big battle. I just need a bigger sword and shield. It just feels insurmountable sometimes. Fighting with teachers, the kids, my husband who swears up and down that I didn’t tell him about X,Y, and Z when I know for a fact that I did and he just didn’t “hear” me. Stella loses papers and library books, for which I then must pay for (and shitty books, too – not even good stuff I’d otherwise buy).
I realize I need to adjust my attitude, pull up my big girl panties and all that. I hope that one day I can be all Confucius-like, and accept this thing, bending in the water like a reed rather than slowly being eroded away like a rock. Time to start waving my sword a bit harder.